A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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