Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops