Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops