Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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