what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Jovan

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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