I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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