Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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