What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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