Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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