A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops