What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

What long black and tasty? Licorice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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