When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Knock knock... Home invasion

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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