What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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