Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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