What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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