roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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Diarrhea

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops