Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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