What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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