Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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