What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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a man checks his mypsace

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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