Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops