whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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A whole 'nother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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