Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Knock Knock Who's there

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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