Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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hi

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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