What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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