Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Dumb

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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