In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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