What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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