Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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