How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Grace Ackerson

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops