Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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