How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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