what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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