Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops