Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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quantum physics?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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