-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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