A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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