how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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knock knock Goodbye

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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