Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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