what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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