What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops