HEY!

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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