Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops