Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops