Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops