steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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human centipede

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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