Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...