What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

Half life 3 confirmed

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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