Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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womens rights

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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