How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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I like jokes.

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87

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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