Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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