Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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My jeans

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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