What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops